Alert: Spongebob Gaypants Targets Kids!

My two-and-a-half-year-old daughter often squeals with delight when she watches Spongebob Squarepants on TV. Now I'm wracked with guilt. I somehow totally overlooked the fact that this ever-optimistic friendly do-gooder has been secretly advancing the homosexual agenda. I mean, he's been known to holds hands with his starfish friend Patrick — who is pink, ferchrissakes, and whose extremities look suspiciously like, well, triangles. How did that not alarm me? On one recent episode, I saw Spongebob dance around in his underwear, ballerina-style. Hel-lo?! Plus, he's got that that queer, high-pitched laugh. Oh, and he has a snail for a pet. Tell me who likes snails. Yep: French people do. Coincidence? You decide.

Anyway, thanks to James C. Dobson of Focus on the Family, we are now being properly educated on the dangers that Spongebob poses to our kids. And thank heavens, people are waking up. Almost 500 concerned conservatives have already weighed in at freerepublic.com alone, with some online commenters bravely vowing to "stop this horrific attack on our children's young minds." At rightwingnation, people are passionately exposing the "communist" and "homosexualist assault" on America's most precious. And capalert, the Christian Childcare Action Project, sounds the alarm bell because Spongebob's debauchery may lead to homosexual child rape, not to mention a penchant for interior decorating.

As if there wasn't already enough proof of his fiendish, family-destroying secret plans, Spongebob now appears in a new video that aims to teach kids "tolerance and respect." Tolerance and respect! I ask you: Unless you're deaf and blind, could the evil intent be any clearer?

It's not just Spongebob (I wish!). I'm just as concerned about the other characters who perform in the video, right alongside Mr. Gaypants. Like Bob the Builder, and Winnie the Pooh, and Dora the Explorer. Doesn't Bob the Builder look just a little like that pansy-assed construction worker from the Village People? Why is a male bear called Winnie, like a girl? (And no, I won't be discussing his last name, and neither should you.) Also, what, pray tell, does Dora explore when she goes "spelunking"?

I'm waiting for word from the Reverend Jerry Falwell, who did such a fine job outing that flamingly gay Teletubby. Meanwhile, I will no longer be exposing my daughter to sneaky messages from gay sponges, but she'll hardly be deprived. She can just watch a wholesome kids’ show like Sesame Street, where Ernie cavorts with Bert in their shared bedroom, and where Oscar the Grouch tucks in his worm every night.

Hey, wait a minute.

Comments

[John T. Kennedy]

The WorldNetDaily article which you imply refers to Dobson and Focus on The Family doesn't seem to have anything about either in it. What's that about?

Do you have any source for what Dobson actually said? The Times article cites sentence fragments.

[Jason]

Dobson's a media whore. He, and that other nasty crank, Brent Bozell, live for the attention that their witch-hunting campaigns draw.

[Robert]

Some kinda "dipstick" I'd say.
SpongeBob is a cartoon that appeals to kids
of all ages.
The writers portray many lessons learned, that children can understand.
Silly??, Yes!,but not oriented toward homosexuality.
Your homophobia is childish and a gross defect of character on your part.
Grow up!!!

[Barbara]

I suspected nothin' but trouble when I saw you tantilizing Jialan with Spongefag Queerpants. It's well known in the gay community that sponges are a paradoxical symbol for dirty, lustful sex...you know,sorta like sayin',"Clean up your act." How could you have missed the subliminal message--a cute guy drawing all that attention to his pants should've been the tip-off. Clearly Dobson has a precise eye for what's going on in the gay underworld.

[Gadi]

Your nuts, "only french men like snails" Does that mean all french men are gay? Does that mean owning a snail is gay? I will hold hands with a fellow member in church at times both male and female. Does that mean I am bi-sexual. You are decerning with steriotypes. "Gay tolerance" does not mean we all have to become gay. It means we should except the person no matter what our beliefs are. I am Christian and I know that God established marriage and sex as a union between a man and his wife. Steriotypes does not mean that a person is gay. For goodness sake. Calm down!! The show is goofy and might have sublinal messages, but they are not as obvious is you think. And everyone knows that sponge Bob likes that rodent on the show. I think her name is Sally. Well anyways try to find the subliminal messages good luck

[Neeley]

I think it's stupid that people are concerned about Spongebob being homosexual. Seriously, that's not what kids care about. They just think Spongebob is hilarious because of all of those things. Trust me, I used to watch Spongebob & I have a cousin that's seven years old. She just laughs along at his stupidity. Everyone's taking this completely the wrong way. People are so freakishly overprotective about their kids these days & they don't realize that sooner or later, their kids are going to be completely exposed to this type of thing.

[Jaosnbot]

Oh my word, from what I understand your think spongebob is gay because he looks a little queer? Please provide an alternative to kids cartoons! This argument is unjust as it's only saying how bad it is and not actually wanting to do anything about it!

How about we just remove all kiddies cartoons so they can watch pulp fiction and reservoir dogs maybe a little sex in the city to educate kids in a NON_HOMOSEXUAL environment! this is going nowhere vry fast!

I say just leave the kids to have there fun, and the grownups and teens that also watch the show and we can all live happily in a pineapple under the sea!!!

[Jessica]

I fear people loose means of what these shows mean, yes, apparently in a good deal of cartoons, animators,writers and directors sneak in inside jokes- but it's nothing to be alarmed for- has society gotten so closed minded and fearful that they attack 'cartoons'? Is there so much hate and intolerance in society to accept cartoons for what they are? Merely entertainment. Stop trying to 'read between the lines'.

[Elizabeth]

Your mind is pretty screwed-up if you are trying to find advances in the "gay agenda," that mythical beast of homophobic ninnies, in children's cartoons. Lots of starfish are pink. Doesn't mean they're gay. It means you're trying too hard.

I think that all of you that think that there is nothing wrong with spongebob must be blind or either ignorant. Its not about beeing "overprotective" as you say, its about accepting that many cartoons out there these days are currupting our kids minds believe it or not. and if you still chose not to accept it dont come asking later on why your kid is acting let say "different"

[Albert]

My comment is posted a long time from the main statement... but anyway, it just seems to me like you are LOOKING for maybe sorta kinda looks like homosexual acts... I agree with many comments on the page denying the fact that this show actually uses subliminal messages to reflect homosexuality ... You said sesame street is beter ?!! What is your problem, sesame street is just as bad or worse that teletubies or whatever those gay freaks are..."The same was proved conclusively about Sesame Street’s Bert and Ernie. Landover exposed the homo-loving Disney company’s efforts to promote sexual promiscuity with the release of the pornographic flick, Dinosaur." Yeah yeah well sometimes spongebob acts a little "wierd" or his friend patrick... but its just childish goofy stuff... nothing homosexually preverted. At least I dont think so... You are doing more damage to your kids by making them watch sesame street... Spongebob likes sandy, a squirrel ... shes a girl... homo? no
I would have so much more to say, but I think its been said here... (Disney has some of the worst subliminal-implanting TV shows for kids)

[jeff flow]

yall are all fags

You guys are retardeddddd!! All of you who think spongebob is GAY and a threat for little kids!! If you are trying THAT HARD to find something nasty, you can pretty much do it in anything! Spongebob was originaly created for 2nd graders, and everyone just happen to enjoy it. It is an innocent show! If all cartoons were about happy little men who come home and expect a hot meal from their "housewives," then kids would pretty much be even more screwed!

so, GROW UP!!!

[concerned parent]

I used to watch the show and actually found nothing wrong with it at first,slowly i began to question some things that i saw then a fellow christian alerted me to hidden adgenda behind the show I can say that since then i have not watched the show nor have i allowed my impressionable child to do the same either.All i can say is that the devil comes to steal,kill and destroy the bible calls him a liar.He has been around for a long time and he knows how to manipulate.My dvice is to pray for your childern and to cover them everyday in prayer.The devil knows his time is short and he attacks the innocent .....all you parents beware.Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. (1 Peter 5:8 AMP)

[Hunter]

Did I just get trolled by every single person who commented here? Did all of you just see the sarcasm dripping from the original post and decide to chime in with your own?

The original post was indeed sarcastic, through and through. Please, fellow commenters, take a moment to consider your reading comprehension skills as you scribe your next bit of vitriol, and consider whether the author really meant what you think he or she meant.

(Note: Lots of things in the article gave it away. The reference to French people liking snails, invoking Jerry Falwell, etc. This wasn't that difficult.)

he is gay

dont let your kids watch spongebob my son is in jail for gayness all because of SPONGEBOBGAYPANTS. so dont let your kids watch spongebob.I have told everyone about this nonsense especially the government.I told him to ban spongebob and he said he will after he has a word with stephen hillenburg(the director)hes going to put him in jail