Too Sexy For Her Pompoms

DVDs of American Beauty and Bring It On are going to be very, very popular in Texas. You see, Texas politicians have finally begun doing something about the local cheerleader problem, as they're way too ribald and sexy. The cheerleaders, people, not the politicians — try to stay with me here, OK?

So, after voting to install big-screen televisions in the legislature and watching 1,769 hours of gyrating-girls footage, the Texas House approved a bill banning "sexually suggestive" cheerleading routines.

"Girls can get out and do all of these overly sexually performances and we applaud them and that's not right," said Democratic Rep. Al Edwards of Houston, who filed the legislation. Edwards argued that lascivious exhibitions are a distraction for high school students that result in pregnancies, high school dropouts, contraction of AIDS and herpes and "cutting off their youthful life at an early age."

Jimmy Patterson of Sticky Doorknobs was good enough to get a response from the cheering squads and their fans.

Cheerleaders from across the state issued a statement that read simply, "Ohmigod, like, ohmigod!" Cheerleader supporters say the only options left for their girls will be to either stand perfectly still during the game, or text message their routines to fans who bring cell phones.

Comments

[C.S.Strowbridge]

Someone recently asked my why I thought censorship was the primary goal of the people making DVD 'Cleaning' products.

I think this is clearly more evidence to that nature.

They want to force their views on others. If you can't see that, then you are blind.