Booze Nannies Have a Drinking Problem

What's more powerful than the most sanctimonious nanny-state legislation? Simple supply and demand, a.k.a. the free market. So when you're a New Zealand lawmaker and you've already taxed various kinds of alcohol out of existence, don't get all self-congratulatory just yet. Eager consumers and smart manufacturers will still find obvious ways to do an end run around you.

In other drinking news, England now has a beverage, BE beer, that combines the buzz of booze with the kick of caffeine. The concoction has all kinds of teetotaling killjoys furrowing their brows, because it might become popular among — good Lord! — clubgoing twenty- and thirty-somethings. According to the tut-tutters, who haven't had such a fine chance to work themselves into a lather since the days of absinthe, people under 40 apparently shouldn't get any fancy ideas about making up their own minds when it comes to alcohol (indeed, by Jiminy, those youngsters ought to be tucked in bed around 10:30 with a nice cuppa cocoa!).

Oh, and would you believe the dastardly distillers have even sunk so low as to deliberately make the drink appealing — appealing, I say! — to youngish consumers? That's because the stuff is fruit-flavored, a factor said to especially boost the beverage's attractiveness to young women. See? Now those vile booze-peddlers are even trying to corrupt the country's weaker sex. Is nothing sacred?

Now that fruity alcohol has been suddenly tagged as a grave threat to our youth's health and well-being, perhaps someone could start a petition to outlaw Screwdrivers, Cape Cods, and Strawberry Margaritas?

Comments

[billy-jay]

Nothing wrong with a cup of cocoa, as long as it's got some vodka in it.

[Greg]

Shee-it, ah reckon thait it's sooo depressin' ahm gonna have to roll up a big, fat dooby and think 'bout it! Doncha lurve market forces, mah dealer is quicker than a pizza delivery boy.

[sam]

Advocate against strawberry margaritas at your own risk.

-sam