Rethinking Gravity

I generally don't want to kiss guys (apparently, God does not approve), but sometimes I'd like to kiss the guys at the Onion (OK, the gals too). Here's a good example of why they deserve my undying affection, with thanks to reader Nicky.

KANSAS CITY, KS — As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity — which is taught to our children as a law — is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

Whole brilliant thing here; also check out the wonderful graphic in the background of the photo.

Comments

[colson]

I just laughed so hard I almost blew milk out of my nose. Good find to Nicky. I havent browsed the Onion in a while.....

[John palubiski]

May I go out on a limb here? Yes, I can hear you cheer as you fire up that chainsaw!

I don't have a probleme with "intelligent design". We're not talking about creationism or the Skopes Monkey trials, but rather about something quite similar to Plato's "logos".

If you plant a seed it will unfold and grow according to a pre-ordained plan or "design", won't it?

IMHO, ALL things are modelled on templates that seem to exist "outside" of what we know as the physical world.

Also, asserting the existence of these templates does NOT necessarily mean you have to believe in god.

I'll run back in and hug the trunk, now....