My Faith Saved Me. That, and My Crystal Meth.

Remember the neat tearjerker that unfolded in Georgia back in March? A young Christian woman held hostage by a crazed killer sat him down and made him some pancakes (with real butter); then, inspired by The Purpose-Driven Life, she persuaded her attacker to let God into his life. He surrendered — first to the Almighty's love, then to the police.

Even secular media went to town with that narrative, days of saturation coverage culminating in a hagiographic Wall Street Journal column that opined

Ashley Smith is a national hero — a brave, resourceful single mother who has suffered in her life, and who at a series of pivotal moments did the right thing and the kind thing and helped a killer end a killing spree. Country songs will be written about her. She's going to enter our folk lore. ... Is it a matter of happenstance, is it without meaning, that America was taken by this drama at Eastertide, in the days before Palm Sunday, when a wanted man rode by donkey to an appointment at Golgotha?

All right, chill already. Turns out that God had a little competition from Ms. Smith's stash of crystal meth. According to a minty-fresh AP story,

Ashley Smith, the woman who says she persuaded suspected courthouse gunman Brian Nichols to release her by talking about her faith, discloses in a new book that she gave him methamphetamine during the hostage ordeal. ... She says he asked for marijuana, but she did not have any, and she dug into her illegal stash of crystal meth instead.

The authorities won't charge her with possession and that's dandy with me. But I wonder: Would she also have avoided prosecution if she hadn't so expertly played the religion card — if she'd hadn't infused her tale with lots of Jesusy goodness, and had instead been your average profane, non-devout junkie? Just asking.

Comments

[LeeFranke]

Or it could have been the floor show that saved her life.

"She writes that she asked Nichols if he wanted to see the danger of drugs and lifted up her tank top...."

"One ticket, window seat please" ;)

[My2Cents]

"Or it could have been the floor show that saved her life."

You "forgot" to include the rest of the quote: "She writes that she asked Nichols if he wanted to see the danger of drugs and lifted up her tank top several inches to reveal a five-inch scar down the center of her torso the aftermath of a car wreck caused by drug-induced psychosis."

[Ben]

Personally, I think they probably didn't have any physical proof that she had the meth so they couldn't arrest. And the "Jesusy goodness" probably helped out. I am definetly going to give you credit if I ever have the opportunity to use that phrase. Things like that are the reason I read your page everyday.

[Ben]

Personally, I think they probably didn't have any physical proof that she had the meth so they couldn't arrest. And the "Jesusy goodness" probably helped out. I am definetly going to give you credit if I ever have the opportunity to use that phrase. Things like that are the reason I read your page everyday.

[LeeFranke]

Hey whatever reason she wants for taking her top off is fine with me