Indiana Mulls Gov't Permission to Procreate

If you're gay or single or shacking up with your significant other in Indiana, watch out: Your state is getting ready to legislate the terms under which you may use your reproductive organs.

The part of the bill raising eyebrows involves assisted reproduction. It defines assisted reproduction as causing pregnancy by means other than sexual intercourse, including intra-uterine insemination, donation of an egg, donation of an embryo, in vitro fertilization and transfer of an embryo, and sperm injection. The bill then requires "intended parents" to be married to each other and specifically says an unmarried person may not be an intended parent. A doctor can’t begin an assisted-reproduction technology procedure that may result in a child’s being born until the intended parents of the child have received a certificate of satisfactory completion of an assessment required under the bill.

Some of the required information includes the fertility history of the parents, education and employment information, hobbies, personality descriptions, verification of marital status, child care plans, letter of reference and criminal history checks. A description of the family lifestyle of the intended parents is also required, including individual participation in faith-based or church activities.

Section 12 of the bill requires a record of the following. I'm quoting it here verbatim for your continued bemusement.

(1) The intended parents' purpose for the assisted reproduction.
(2) The fertility history of the intended parents, including the pregnancy history and response to pregnancy losses of the woman.
(3) An acknowledgment by the intended parents that the child may not be the biological child of at least one (1) of the intended parents depending on the type of artificial reproduction procedure used.
(4) A list of the intended parents' family and friend support system.
(5) A plan for sharing any known genetic information with the child.
(6) Personal information about each intended parent, including the following:
(A) Family of origin; (B) Values; (C) Relationships; (D) Education; (E) Employment and income; (F) Hobbies and talents; (G) Physical description, including the general health of the individual; (H) Birth verification; (I) Personality description, including the strengths and weaknesses of each intended parent.

Is your jaw still attached to the rest of your face? Then get a load of this: The bill criminalizes not just the prospective parents as mentioned above, but their doctors too. If you're an in vitro specialist and you help the "wrong" clients, you may end up with a criminal record.

The funniest/saddest quote in the Fort Wayne newspaper article I cited earlier comes from State Senator Patricia Miller, a Republican who apparently can barely sleep at night because — horrors! — Indiana has no regulations regarding assisted reproduction. Quoth Miller:

"Needless to say it’s going to be enormously controversial and difficult. Our statutes are nearly silent on all this. You can think of guidelines, but when you put it on paper it becomes different."

Well, listen here, genius: Some things — the vast, vast majority of things, in fact — don't require your involvement. Least of all do they call for your shameless privacy intrusions or for the imposition of your particular brand of morality. Do you really want to be remembered for legislating every last sperm and every last womb in Indiana? Do you realize that the citizens whom you respect so very little will surely return the favor come election time?

On a more or less related note, I have first-hand experience with being asked about my religious practices before I was deemed fit to become a dad. I blogged about it here and here.

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UPDATE: I had barely finished writing this post when news came that the Indiana bill has been withdrawn by its authors, because things got too complicated. Most likely, that's newspeak for "our constitutents were coming after us with pitchforks." And there's a measure of comfort in that thought. Still: The attempt to even begin to legislate the issue betrays just how much certain lawmakers' feel justified in meddling in your most private decisions. Scary, mindboggling stuff.

Comments

[Mark S.]

I recall a humorous scene from the movie Legally Blonde in which a Harvard Law class jokes about masturbation being tantamount to reckless abandonment. Now it's not so funny.

[Martin Owens Jr]

The Founding Fathers were wise.
They recognized that the arrogance of entrenched power is limitless, and that no one is immune to its temptation.

Proposed legislation of this kind reminds me that Chairman Mao used to have a reliable cure for arrogance acquired in office: he had the would-be ruling class transferred out to East Nowhere to pick crops and shovel shit.

By the time they finally made it back to civilization, they were so damn glad to have a place to sit down and quiet work to do, that they took care not to make trouble for ANYBODY.