If You're Stupid, Somebody Owes You

In America, when you pull dumb shit and you get hurt, it's always someone else's fault — and an army of trial lawyers are only too happy to help prove it.

Cases in point:

Jerry Mersereau, 23, ... trekked out in the dark to relieve himself and fell off a cliff in the Mt. Hood National Forest. Tucked into his lawsuit (Jerry Mersereau v. United States of America) is this succinct description of his misadventure: "While finding a place to relieve himself, plaintiff walked off the unguarded and unprotected cliff falling approximately 20 to 30 feet to the creek bed below." Now Mersereau wants the U.S. government to pay for his injuries and the "mental anguish" his fall has caused.

And, via To The People:

Two Florida women who were severely burned when shots of Bacardi 151 rum were set on fire in a bar are suing the liquor company, Fox News reported Aug. 1. Agata Macierzynska and Danielle Alleyne were both burned by burning alcohol after a fellow nightclub patron set fire to a stream of rum being poured by a bartender. The women filed separate suits in Miami claiming that Bacardi marketed a product that was defective and dangerous.

Comments

[Amsterdamsky]

This is one of the main reasons I left. It is easier to make money in the US but as soon as you do you will be forced to defend it from morons like you illustrated. Even if you win you will have incurred significant legal fees. Business legal theft is huge and you can do a hostile takeover literally by barracading the doors and bank accounts of a company you own little or none of and sue for damages against the rightful owner. The district attorneys will almost certainly do nothing to defend your rights or property.

[Matt Vollmer]

How about you get burned so badly that your skin has to have pig epithelial grafted onto it. It's easy to say the things you do when you're entire appearance remains the same. I can understand it if you reference somebody who is really abusing the legal system, such as an individual who only realizes that he sprained his ankle after seeing the potential payoff of a lawsuit. However, picking on burn victims to get your social networking fix is low. Would you like to experience the sensation of a full body immolation? You would have to live on morphine for months, even though it is only minimally effective for something so painful. I ask you as one human being to another, please apologize privately to Agata Macierzynska. If you sent your response to me I could forward it to her. Nobody goes to a bar expecting to be literally roasted.