"I Hate Dirty Words. Let Me Look Them All Up."

In the mid-1960's, the FBI spent two and a half years investigating the ostensibly obscene song lyrics to Louie Louie, a popular recording by The Kingsmen that was remarkable for the lead singer's lack of proper elocution. Some of the phrases listeners thought they heard included "And on that chair, I lay her there; I felt my boner in her hair," and "Fine little bitch, she waits for me; she gets her kicks on top of me."

The FBI's top smut extractors famously slowed down the record player to help them decipher the song, then sped it up, and finally concluded that the song was "unintelligible at any speed."

Anyway...

When Carrie Watson, a mom from Alabama, recently couldn't make out the words to a song the high school band was performing during a football game, she didn't need the FBI. She had Google.

No, the song wasn't Louie Louie (although a Michigan school superintendent did indeed forbid the local marching band to play Louie Louie just last year). Instead, here's what happened:

The Robert E. Lee High School marching band was playing the song "Freak-A-Leak," and the crowd was dancing and singing along — belting out the song's explicit lyrics. The 41-year-old mother of two couldn't make out some of the words, so she decided to look up the Petey Pablo song on the Internet. When she found the lyrics, she couldn't believe her eyes. "Totally unacceptable for a high school football game," said Watson. "I don't know what bothers me the most, the fact that the band was playing such an explicit song or the fact that almost everyone, except for me, knew the lyrics and were singing them aloud."

Now the local media in and around Montgomery, AL, are having a field day with the story. Of course, they have to report on the dirty chorus and verses without actually quoting them, no doubt prompting thousands of parents and children to stealthily look up the offending lyrics online — lyrics they would've remained blissfully unaware of if it wasn't for Carrie Watson virtually shoving every last word in their faces.

Gotta love that.

Oh, the lyrics are here. Not that I'm encouraging you to read that filth, of course.

Comments

[Paul]

I read the lyrics sir, and I'm shocked...SHOCKED that you would link to such obscenity. I will be downloading these lyrics and studying them closely so that I may have the proper time to see if there are any other messages, possibly subverisve in nature to which the song may allude. I will be placing these lyrics in my collection of pornography, all downloaded from the net, natch, so that I may fully catalogue the smut and debauchery that pervades our culture.

BTW: If you have any naked pictures of Jennifer Lopez, they would be, er, a much appreciated addition to my research collection.

[jp]

Here are some explicit verses that have
gone unchallenged for far too long:

Would you like them in a box?
Would you like them with a fox?
Would you like them in a house?
Would you like them with a mouse?

Alert the authorities!

[bob]

Felicia?! I can't believe it, that whore.

[denzel cheatham]

fuck carrie watson im in dat motha fuckin band and i play the tuba. mr. williams da band director told u to play dat song. it was apart of a mix piece we were doing. HE GAVE US THE MUSIC!!! now i dont know wat she was doing listening to da lyrics instead of watching da game but fuck her and she can suck my dick