God's Earthly Reps — The Day's Roundup

That I'm all for people reading whatever they want should come as no surprise to Nobody's Business regulars. But my pro-Bible rant of yesterday confused at least one visitor, who apparently believes I have some kind of anti-Muslim bias. It's true that I'm not crazy about Islam; it's equally true that I'm no big fan of any organized religion, an aversion that most definitely includes all forms of doctrinal Christianity. To me, my position is perfectly self-explanatory, but in case you're wondering why I've never fallen under religion's spell, let me regale you with the day's devotional news, courtesy of fark.com.

In Poland, Jesus has been tapped for the top job.

Lawmakers have drawn up a resolution naming Jesus Christ as the honorary king of Poland, but have failed to win support from the country's powerful Roman Catholic church. Lawmakers for the ruling Law and Justice party and League of Polish Families as well as the opposition Peasants Party back the resolution, said Szymon Ruman, spokesman for parliamentary speaker Marek Jurek.  

In Italy, a priest recently lost Poland's future king's foreskin, "the snipped-off tip of the savior's penis, the only piece of his body he supposedly left on earth". Foul play is suspected.

Just what [Jesus'] foreskin was doing in the priest's house — in a shoebox at the back of his wardrobe, no less — and why and how it disappeared has been debated ever since the relic vanished. Some suspect the village priest sold it for a heavenly sum; others say it was stolen by thieves and ended up on the relics black market; some even suggest Satanists or neo-Nazis are responsible. But the most likely culprit is an unlikely one: the Vatican. 

In England, a judge believes that a plaintiff's religious beliefs ought to make the difference between telling the guy to fuck off and awarding him six million dollars. Here's why:

A devout Christian [emphasis mine] who said an accident at work boosted his libido and wrecked his marriage as he turned to prostitutes and pornography was awarded more than 3 million pounds in damages on Tuesday. Stephen Tame, 29, from Suffolk, suffered severe head injuries in a fall, transforming him from a loyal newlywed into a "disinhibited" character who had two affairs. 

If being perpetually horny is so terrible an affliction that it should now be compensated with a seven-figure sum, a couple of billion men are probably headed to a Ferrari showroom right this minute. At least the devout ones. You see, had Mr. Tame been of a secular persuasion, he would presumably have walked away with nothing, since free love is considered the inevitable province of godless hedonists. But when our Bible-loving brothers feel compelled to act on dirty thoughts, well, that's just not right, and someone's going to have to pay up.

In the U.S., Mormons are reluctantly facing the fact that Simon Wiesenthal may not have been an irredeemable sinner after all. The famed Nazi hunter

...wound up on a list of people eligible to be posthumously baptised as Mormons so they could enter heaven. Bowing to protests from Jewish groups, The Church of Latter Day Saints said on Tuesday that it had removed Wiesenthal's name from its International Genealogical Index, a database of names of people who could be baptised after death. A church spokesman said the Nazi hunter's name was taken off the list after receiving a complaint from the Simon Wiesenthal Centre, a Jewish human rights group named in his honour. 

Said Rabbi Marvin Heir, the dean and founder of the group:

"Simon Wiesenthal dedicated his whole life to Jews. I don't think he needs help getting into heaven." 

Quite.

Not that the Jewish faith is, as they say, above reproach.

As far as I'm concerned, the four examples above amount to relatively harmless nuttiness. Come to think of it, that phrase aptly describes my general opinion of organized religion. But religious faith has a terribly dark side too. Though he's harsher than I would have been, I find it hard to disagree with Christopher Hitchens, who, in this piece, details some of the outrages that are encouraged or condoned under the cover of religion. He concludes:

Jewish babies exposed to herpes in New York, thousands of American children injured for life after the rape and torture they suffered at the hands of a compliant Catholic priesthood, prelates and mullahs outbidding each other in denial of AIDS … it's not just your mental health that is challenged by faith. Anyone who says that this evil deserves legal protection is exactly as guilty as the filthy old men who delight in inflicting it. What a pity that there is no hell.

Comments

[Tony]

I find your take on religion useful. If nothing else, we need sane voices willing to challenge nuttiness, be it in religion or not. I like that you're willing to just call out the elephant in the room when it's there.

For me, it took a bit of time to get there in writing about circumcision (since that's the gist of the Hitchens essay). I was more than happy to rant against it, but I left the religious piece aside out of fear of upsetting people. Then I realized that I was being stupid. Of course I'd get people who don't buy it and would call me anti-semitic, but everyone should call out religious (and non-religious) practices that can't be justified in a modern, Constitutional society. If adults want to do something to themselves for religious reasons, have at it. But, as Hitchens said, the "First Amendment does indeed forbid any infringement of religious freedom, but it is not, as was once said, part of a suicide pact, let alone a child-abuse one."

I'd rather be called anti-semitic (or anti-religion, in general) than actually be anti-Constitutional. So let the labels fly, but let those who hurl the invectives understand that the bias is their own, not mine. Or yours, Rogier, based on the recent post you mentioned.

P.S. I hope this doesn't hijack your thread, because that's not my intention.

P.P.S Was the word "hijack" religious insensitivity?

[K. Dale Boley]

You sound just like a little girl. A little girl who can write rather well and makes brilliant points, but a girl none the less.
Merry Christmas Rogier!

[Vache Folle]

Do the offended Jews reckon that a Mormon baptism will actually turn the late Mr W into a Mormon?