Nobody's Business

Maine Cop Kills Unarmed Boy

In Waldoboro, Maine, police officer Zachary Curtis attempts to arrest belligerent teenager Gregori Jackson, who is a passenger in a car that Curtis just pulled over for a traffic violation. Somehow, after a scuffle, the young man pulls loose and flees into the woods next to the road. Officer Curtis pursues the suspect, and manages to shoot him several times in the head and chest, killing the unarmed eighteen-year-old on the spot.

The local paper reports that

Curtis was a reserve officer who has served with Waldoboro police since February 2006. Curtis had received 100 hours of training.

Make of that what you will, but it looks for all he world like a boy is dead because a rookie officer relied on testosterone instead of training, and on bullets rather than common sense. Tragic no matter how you slice it.

Enraged By Cat Joke, Muslims Take a Number

I'm admittedly not very well-versed in Muslim comic strips. Mediawatchwatch has unearthed a recent one from Bangladesh that seems neither sidesplitting nor particularly risqué. But sure, your inner eight-year-old might get a chuckle out of it.

Muslim man to boy with cat: Boy, what’s your name?
Boy: My name is Babu.
Man: It is customary to put Mohammed in front of the name. What is your father’s name?
Boy: Mohammed Abu.
Man: What is that on your lap?
Boy: Mohammed cat.

Ten days ago, local cartoonist Arifur Rahman promptly disappeared behind bars for that one.

Inevitably,

There have been the expected street performances of marching, shouting, punching the air and brandishing banners, and a few minor conflagrations here and there with the main combustible material being newsprint — bearing the cartoon, of course. Oh, and calls for death.

According to Reporters Without Borders,

Religious leaders have called for the cartoonist to be severely punished and for Prothom Alo, one of the country’s leading dailies, to be closed. Copies of the newspaper have been burned outside one of the capital’s mosques.

If Rahman is guilty of one thing, it must be his futile attempt to provide mirth to the humorless. It's like putting lipstick on a pig*.

* [Porcine metaphor not intended to give offense to followers of any particular religion.]

Why Bush Sometimes Talks Real Good

If you tested the allegedly Yale-educated leader of the free world against a political science freshman from a random mediocre college, who do you suppose would have the better grasp of facts overall?

The only person in the country who probably can't guess the answer to that (even in two tries) is George Bush.

How do you keep a leader as verbally gaffe-prone as US President George W. Bush from making even more slips of the tongue? When Mr Bush addressed the UN General Assembly today, the White House inadvertently showed exactly how — with a phonetic pronunciation guide on the teleprompter to get him past troublesome names of countries and world leaders. The White House was left scrambling to explain after a marked-up draft of Bush's speech popped up briefly on the UN website as he delivered his remarks, giving a rare glimpse of the special guidance he gets for major addresses. It included phonetic spellings for French President Nicolas Sarkozy (sar-KO-zee), a friend, and Zimbabwe leader Robert Mugabe (moo-GAH-bee), a target of US human rights criticism. Pronunciations were also provided for Kyrgyzstan (KEYR-geez-stan), Mauritania (moor-EH-tain-ee-a) and the Zimbabwe capital Harare (hah-RAR-ray).

I pine for the days (early 2001) when you could still pretend our president was a vaguely amiable, slightly goofy stumblebum, instead of a full-on embarrassment capable of inducing worldwide groans that last seven-plus years.

Fourteen months to go.

UPDATE, Thursday: Reuters report that Bush are not a grammar wiz either.

Dutch Name 'Obscene,' Unworthy of Car Plate

Thank heavens for state officials protecting us from number plates with exotic family names. Brave civil servants out West have just dealt a quadruple blow to a cabal of allegedly filthy-minded foreigners.

UDINK is a no-go for personalized plates in the state of Oregon. That's news to the Udink family, whose request for the vanity tags UDINK4 was rejected by state officials. They already have UDINK-1, -2 and -3. Not only has the latest request been turned down, the state has ordered the other three sets of plates returned. State officials say the word DINK has several derogatory meanings. But not to Mike and Shelly Udink. They say Udink is a common Dutch last name, and note they got their first personalized plates seven years ago.

Udink is indeed a fairly common name in the Netherlands. For instance, it would surely come as a surprise to Dutch Christian conservative leader Berend-Jan Udink (a staunch seventies-era defender of god, queen, and country) that his last name is such an unpardonable affront in Oregon.

Taxes Are For the Little People

More "Do as I say, not as I do" from our highest officials. This story's from Philadephia.

Earlier this month, when Mayor Street announced an aggressive new city plan to go after tax scofflaws, he warned: "We will spare no one." He could have started by looking in the mirror. Until last week, Street was $4,798.99 in arrears on his property-tax bills for two North Philadelphia properties. He paid up Thursday, shortly after a Daily News reporter asked him about the debt.

[hat tip: Fark]

Baxter Again

I'm more comfortable writing news and analysis than I am being featured in a news story myself. But I'm about to gain a measure of temporary (and very local) fame / notoriety, thanks to Baxter. Baxter is the Saint Bernard killed by my local SPCA. The SPCA decided that putting down the dog was preferable to allowing him to come live with me and my family.

The Bangor Daily News is working on a stoy about the affair, so it's fair to say that Baxter is gone but not forgotten. I'll post a link if and when the piece hits the web.

Oh: I found out today that the Hancock County SPCA, the place where Baxter's fate was decided, is a no-kill shelter. Curiouser and curiouser. I'd wager that the people who donate to the local SPCA based on the perception that no pets are put to death there, would love to know what 'no-kill' really means. Apparently, there's wiggle room in that term (kinda like "I did not have sex with that woman," I guess.) Who knew?

The other news is that I'm about to have a meeting with Jim Nobil, the president of the SPCA, and Kenneth Hill, the organization's VP. I hear they're good guys so my hopes are raised that I'll be able to get my point across and force some changes at the shelter. More soon.

De Gustibus Non Est Disputandum

The FCC's new dictate for producers of TV talent shows:

"The performing style, language, hair and clothing of the contestants must be in line with the taste of the masses."

OK, that's the Chinese FCC, which somehow manages to be even more moronic and dickheaded than its U.S. counterpart. Bravo!

No Longer Paeying the Price For Being In Pain

The conviction of Richard Paey was one of the ugliest badges of dishonor in this nation's entire sorry war on drugs, and that's saying something. Proving that wonders never cease, and that reason sometimes prevails, Paey was unexpectedly ordered released today.

Richard Paey is a chronic pain patient in year three of a 25-year mandatory-minimum sentence for trafficking in drugs — his own pain medication. But his freedom is just hours away. Gov. Charlie Crist and the Florida Cabinet voted unanimously to grant Paey a full pardon Thursday morning for his 2004 conviction on drug trafficking and possession charges. "We aim to right a wrong and exercise compassion and to do it with grace," the governor said. "Congratulations ... and I state he should be released today." With that, Paey's wife Linda, their three children, a family friend and attorney John Flannery II hugged and cried at the podium, the entire cabinet meeting room erupting into applause at 9:40 a.m.

Kudos to Charlie Crist and his colleagues. OK, what they did perhaps doesn't rise to the level of genuine bravery. (How 'brave' do you have to be to draw a distinction between a by all accounts upstanding family man who's in excruciating pain, and some lowlife gun-toting Pablo Escobar wannabe?) Still, Crist and his crew could have stuck their heads in the sand, repeating the 'nothing-to-see, move-along' mantra mumbled by so many public servants as soon as the topic turns to drug convictions. That's what Crist's predecessor Jeb Bush did (perhaps because the Bush family genes are not programmed to produce anything resembling fairness, compassion, or competence).

Crist is cut from a different cloth, and Florida should congratulate itself on a governor who appears to know the difference between dogma and truth, between swagger and substance, and between justice and cruelty.

Welcome home, Richard.

"That Book's So Dirty, I'm Keeping It Forever"

Meet JoAn Karkos.

A Lewiston [Maine] woman who was upset by the content of an acclaimed sex education book published 14 years ago has checked out copies from two libraries and refuses to give them back."Since I have been sufficiently horrified of the illustrations and the sexually graphic, amoral abnormal contents, I will not be returning the books," JoAn Karkos wrote the Lewiston and Auburn public libraries last month. Each letter was accompanied by a check for $20.95 to cover the cost of the book, "It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex & Sexual Health."

The laugh-out-loud part:

Both libraries have ordered replacements for the books Karkos took. Speer [the library director in Lewiston] ordered two more copies because of an increase in requests for the book after the (local) Sun Journal published a letter from Karkos condemning the book.

My guess is that Karkos will soon sue for the removal of the library boss, arguing that the name Speer clearly evokes highly indecent phallic imagery.

Farewell Baxter, or, the SPCA Killed My Dog

I learned today that a couple of months ago, my local SPCA killed Baxter, the lovable Saint Bernard. OK, he wasn't my dog, contrary to what that headline says, but he could have been. Should have been.

You see, the SPCA deemed my family unfit to adopt Baxter (and for all intents and purposes any dog) because we have two children under the age of 12. I kid you not.

No matter that my wife and I have a history of caring for rescue dogs, including difficult ones, stretching back a quarter century.

No matter that our kids are used to having dogs, and know how to behave safely and appropriately in their presence.

Never mind that we've never had a major incident with any of our canines, and that they've never harmed anyone (or have come to any serious harm themselves).

Never mind that we have a verifiable record with our veterinarians, stretching back many years, showing that our dogs punctually and without fail received the necessary shots and any other medical care they needed.

And never mind that we would have signed a waiver absolving the SPCA of culpability if an incident did happen.

No. The SPCA of Hancock County, in Trenton, Maine, told us they have to do what is in the best interest of the animals. Baxter's "history" was unclear and so they couldn't vouch for him. Apparently, "the best interest of the animal" meant not allowing us to give him a loving home. And it means that, not long after the SPCA rejected our candidacy and actually threw us out of the shelter (you can read the whole sordid story here), they killed him.

Can you believe that? They decided that ending his life was better for him than letting him come home with us.

To use a Vietnam-era reference: In order to save the dog, they had to destroy him.

By the way, here's a fun fact. The SPCA in question bills itself as a no-kill shelter. I'm sure that label is quite the money-maker come fundraising time. It just doesn't happen to be truthful, as Baxter's execution shows pretty irrefutably.

I wonder how many Baxters — abandoned dogs with prospective new owners who would've loved to take them home — have ended up on the pile of animal carcasses that the SPCA habitually produces.

"Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals." What a sad, horrible joke that name has become.