How I Became a Narcotics Fiend

OK, maybe not. For the first time in my life, I'm using opiates, following scheduled knee surgery yesterday. Thanks to a good supply of oxycodone, I'd been looking forward to some pleasant wooziness, maybe a sexy hallucination or two (Lucy Liu waking me up from my post-operative slumbers with a toasted bagel — hmmm, toasted bagel!), but nope. Leave it to medical science to take all the fun out of narcotics.

For the past twenty hours, I've instead been puking my guts out. The first-listed side effect of oxycodone, a serious pain medication, turns out to be nausea. No shit. (Oh yeah, it's been known to cause constipation too). I'm taking ibuprofen now, which probably reduces the likelihood of Lucy appearing at my bedside to zero.

Now that's painful.

Comments

[Dave]

Ask the doctor for a script for Marinol to counter the nausea or just use the illegal variety. Just as effective, much more fun and requires no prescription. The only nasty side effect comes not from the substance but from the government.