Nobody's Business

God and Business

The current career advice at monster.com includes an article on how to integrate your religion with your job.

My advice would be to leave your beliefs at home if you value your co-workers and clients. They don't care that your Invisible Sky-Daddy commands you to take off early on Fridays, or that He objects to your heretical colleagues eating ham sandwiches. Couldn't you just do your work like everyone else and shut it, please?

I've run into this a few times at two of the nation's top photo-equipment suppliers, Adorama and B&H Photo. They're both excellent, ultra-reputable stores. The thing is, when I want to order something on a Friday afternoon or a Saturday and head over to their sites, I'm told to come back a day or two days later. B&H even disables my shopping cart: apparently, fully automated computer servers, too, are subject to religious commandments. Moreover, I guess God simply won't stand for the disgraceful spectacle of a guy buying a camera bag when he should be at home lighting a menorah, dancing a horah, and reading the Torah. Or whatever.

Long live Amazon and other places that take orders 24/7. I have no idea what Jeff Bezos' religious beliefs are, if any; what I do know is that he respects his customers enough to keep those convictions private, out of the sphere of commerce.

Or maybe Bezos just doesn't like to turn customers away, preferring to make money for himself and his stakeholders, and to further grow the business and create jobs. What a concept.

Anyway, something in that monster.com article caught my eye:

If a company's executives are mostly fundamentalist Christians, you can bet they'll share values such as working hard and spending time with family.

I doubt it, frankly. I'd like to see some hard evidence that fundamentalist Christians devote more time to their families and work harder than Jews, Christians, Muslims, or atheists. The quoted statement doesn't precisely say that people of other persuasions fall short in those regards, but the implication is hard to miss.

Besides, there's a certain tension between those two feats, wouldn't you say? Sure, you can be a hard worker and a devoted family man (or woman) — but chances are, the childless, non-believer careerist two cubicles over will put in way more hours than you do, seeing as he has fewer outside duties and responsibilities.

I might be hairtrigger sensitive here, but honestly, I'm getting pretty goddamn tired of the injection of so-called religious values into everything from career tips to online shopping.

If you want people to respect your beliefs in virgins giving birth and carpenter's sons conjuring loaves and fishes out of thin air, I'm told there's this thing called 'a church' where they'll receive you with open arms. Every other place you go outside of your own home, especially your workplace, people can be forgiven for telling you that they have no interest in hearing about your phantasmagorical inner life, including the part where you have to go home early to satisfy your chosen superstitions.

[image via the Legal Satyricon]

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FRIDAY BONUS: The best song I know that has the words 'God' and 'Business' in the title. I've lamented the prettification of Kurt Weill's formerly jarring, unforgettable compositions after he said auf Wiedersehen to Bertolt Brecht and moved to the United States. Tom Waits might feel the same way. He somehow channels the 1920s Weill, filters him through a couple of layers of blues and booze, and comes up with a winner that radiates raw authenticity.

In Praise of Supermarkets

Big-chain supermarkets in the U.K. have been a favorite bogeyman of the small-is-beautiful crowd for years, roughly to the same extent that abundance-weary leftists in the U.S. love to excoriate Walmart.

Guardian culinary critic Jay Rayner, whom you might expect to be a food snob, isn't buying it.

[T]he notion that the independent retailer is in some way a much friendlier alternative to the staff of the soulless supermarket is also little more than a myth. We love to imagine the rosy-cheeked, melon-bellied butcher who always has time for everyone and the greengrocer helpfully picking out the finest of produce for his customers. The truth is that they are just people. Which means some of them are very nice and some of them are miserable old buggers. ...

[O]ver the past 10 years, [supermarkets] have vastly increased and improved the range of ingredients available to the home cook. Many of our food writers rage against supermarkets, while at the same time proposing recipes that it would be impossible to prepare were it not for the economies of scale which enable those supermarkets to stock the esoteric ingredients they demand.

91 Million

Two plus two equals four, sugar is sweet, and most Muslim don't want to slit the throats of unbelievers. My guess is that you needed neither this blog nor the Gallup Organization to convince you of those facts.

So to no one's surprise, when Gallup polled 50,000 Muslims over six years and three continents, and asked them whether they supported violent jihad, the vast majority of respondents — 93 percent — said no. For argument's sake, let's assume that percentage to be correct, despite the nagging suspicion that not all backers of jihad would readily cop to their true sympathies when pressed on the subject by a U.S.-dispatched stranger with a clipboard.

The happy finding was cause for much rejoicing in the media, including over at AFP, which, between the lines of this story, virtually belts out whatever the Arabic equivalent of Kumbayah is (Kumb-allah, maybe).

The study, which Gallup says surveyed a sample equivalent to 90 percent of the world's Muslims, showed that widespread religiosity "does not translate into widespread support for terrorism," said [Dalia] Mogahed, director of the Gallup Center for Muslim Studies.

About 93 percent of the world's 1.3 billion Muslims are moderates and only seven percent are politically radical, according to the poll, based on more than 50,000 interviews.

Only seven percent. That's fantastic. Nothing to worry about, then.

Only 91 million Bin Laden aficionados who cackle at the murders of Jews, Christians, atheists, apostates, artists, and authors.

Only 91 million devotees of stoning adulterers and insufficiently covered womenfolk.

Only 91 million religion-of-peace worshippers ready to either slay Danish blasphemists or celebrate such butchery.

Only 91 million would-be warriors so steeped in spirituality that they cheer when airliners piloted by their brethren slam into office towers, and when bombs placed by their co-religionists literally rip the limbs of off clubgoers in Bali and train travelers in Madrid.

What an encouraging number. I'm hugely relieved, really. How about you?

Incarceration Nation

The New York Times has news of an American milestone:

For the first time in the nation’s history, more than one in 100 American adults is behind bars.

It's one thing to be tough on crime, and another to give the thumbs-up to a justice system that often treats black and Hispanic offenders much worse than white ones, and that will dole out long prison sentences to non-violent felons who've done nothing worse than distribute plants to medical-marijuana dispensaries (to name but two outrages).

The incarceration rate in the U.S. is world-leading. Take a look at this three-year-old chart from the Bureau of Justice Statistics, courtesy of Crooked Timber. That blue dot representing the United States is now even further to the right — literally off the scale.

This is what happens when politicians, law enforcement, and the judiciary sign off on escalating drug wars, on police militarization, and on the most draconian of minimum-sentencing guidelines.

Astonishingly, none of this is up for discussion in political circles anymore. I can't remember a single press question about crime rates and incarceration stats in the presidential race so far, let alone an occasion when any of the candidates, of their own volition, had something substantive to say about the issue.

I would like to suggest two simple questions for the press corps:

1. Senator, do you believe that the American people are easily two to four times more likely to engage in serious crime than citizens of any other country?

Protestations would inevitably follow, as we all know that the American people are upstanding, hard-working, God-fearing, and likely to call home on Mother's Day.

Time for the followup:

2. If you reject the notion that Americans are much more criminally inclined than citizens of other nations, then why does our country hold the world record in putting people in prison, a policy that takes an astronomical social and fiscal toll — and what do you propose to do about it?

Icy days in hell are rare, and it'll probably take an arctic spell down there before the topic of our national incarceration rate emerges as a legitimate topic on the Hill and on the campaign trail. But one can hope.

Same Content, New Look

I did a little redecoratin', with the help of illustrator Len Peralta.

Regular readers may remember my enthusiastic plug of Monsters by Mail, Peralta's irresistible web offer to send you a unique, made-to-order ghoul, zombie, bigfoot, or alien for a measly 25 bucks.

I thought of him when I finally got embarrassed enough by my blog's cookie-cutter look to commission some custom art. A guy specializing in drawing icky creatures would surely be up to the task of portraying rogue cops, religious extremists, and power-drunk politicians.

We didn't mean to end up with five different banners, but to my delight, that's what Len ultimately delivered, and that's what you'll see (in random rotation) from now on. Each banner represents a major Nobody's Business theme, to wit:

• the war on drugs;
• the surveillance society;
• government waste and pork-barrel spending;
• invasive and generally harebrained tax laws; and
• moralists of all stripes trying to control what you eat, drink, smoke, wear, drive, watch, read, say, and write.

See below for a quickie preview of what you can expect in weeks to come.

One reason I'm putting up this post is to give public props to Len for the terrific artwork.

If monsters are not your thing, check out Len's podcast, which has a pretty cool accompanying blog where he posts some of his other art. (One favorite of mine is this tender illustration of "poultry scientist"  Robert C. Baker, who was sometimes called the Nugget Man for his contributions to the field of "reconstituted meat slurry," in the words of the very funny Paul and Storm song.)

The second reason I'm writing this is to assure you that Nobody's Business is not getting narrower in scope, despite what any single one of those banners may suggest. Seeing the drug war illustration at the top of your screen does not mean I've stopped caring about censorship issues or pork-barrel shenanigans. I'll keep bringing you all the fare to which you've become addicted accustomed. Of course, it pretty much all hangs together anyway.

I hope you like the new look of the place. If so, invite your friends! If not, tell your enemies!

Quit Reading Blogs, U.S. Air Force Demands

The U.S. Air Force has started blocking access to any site that might be a blog. Wired writes that our fighter pilots and their brethren are being kept away from

...just about any independent site with the word "blog" in its web address. It's the latest move in a larger struggle within the military over the value — and hazards — of the sites.

Not everyone thinks the Pakistan-like measure is such a hot idea.

"When I hear stuff this utterly stupid, it makes me want to scream.... Piles of torn out hair are accumulating around my desk as we speak," one senior Air Force official writes in an e-mail. "I'm certain that by blocking blogs for official use, our airmen will never, ever be able to read them on their own home computers, so we have indeed saved them from a contaminating influence. Sorry, didn't mean to drip sarcasm on your rug."

It would be one thing if this was an across-the-board USAF crackdown against its employees goofing off on the Internet. But as Maj. Henry Schott of Air Force Network Operations clearly states, that's not the case. The idea is to offer "primary, official-use sources" only.

"If it's a place like The New York Times, an established, reputable media outlet, then it's fairly cut and dry that that's a good source, an authorized source."

For a service branch so dependent on cutting-edge technology, ignoring the tectonic shifts that blogging has brought to the media landscape these past five or six years is a little Luddite, perhaps.

But more to the point: how interesting that members of the Air Force are expected to put their lives on the line to defend American freedoms so vital that top brass won't entrust said liberties to these men and women themselves.

How About Some Bowel Movement Surveillance?

Where else but the U.K., with its four to five million public spy cams? This one's straight out of the playbook of that upskirts-loving perv Glenn Quagmire.

If you or I pulled this, um, shit, we'd go to jail, and rightly so. But if some authority does it, well, that's different somehow, innit?

Giggity!

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ADDENDUM: Here's a story about a locker room cam. Bonus: In a Tennessee public school. Idiocy award: Installed at the request of the school, with taxpayer money. Quagmire Trophy: Images of female students in various stages of undress in various were saved on an unsecured school server which was frequently accessed by Internet surfers around the country.

William F. Buckley Jr., RIP

"I was very fond of him," Didion said Wednesday. "Everyone was, even if they didn't agree with him."

Didion speaks for me, too. I didn't agree with Buckley 60 percent of the time, maybe more. It's hard to agree with a man who defended McCarthyism, although I can appreciate the contrarian aspect of that doomed endeavor. The last stage of his life brought a faint echo of his youthful mistake: he repudiated some essential liberties after dodderingness appeared to have set in. Seeing the lion transformed into a mewling pussycat was unpleasant, even shocking.

Nonetheless, in his decades-long prime, Buckley was charming and eloquent, a patrician renegade who didn't suffer fools gladly. With glee and gusto, he dished out haute-oratory tonguelashings against which even linguistically gifted liberals like the insufferable Gore Vidal had no proper defense.

I read Buckley's latest published book, Cancel Your Own Goddam Subscription, just a couple of months ago. It struck me as preening and self-congratulatory at times. But the tome (a memoir of sorts) also made clear that the man, throughout his career as National Review's editor, was a master of mordant wit — not something conservatives had always excelled in.

Unlike, say, Ann Coulter, the manbot whose intellectual and comedic powers come up as short as her skirtline, Buckley was both titan and mensch. I'll miss him — not just the part of him that was on the good side of liberty, but the part of him that made you laugh out loud despite yourself.

Fighting Gun Crime, One Legal Dealer at a Time

This story from the U.K. isn't new, but it was new to me.

It's the summer of 2006. A battalion of cops raids the house of Mick Shepherd (pictured below), a well-established, fully-licensed antiques dealer specializing in historic guns. They arrest him on suspicion of underworld firearms trafficking, and charge him with 23 criminal offenses, including possession of prohibited weapons, conspiracy to sell or transfer prohibited weapons, and "conspiracy to put people in fear." Police brass accuse Shepherd of being a gunrunner who supplies firearms to British criminal gangs, and tell a breathless press corps that the man's business has been linked to 14 gangland shootings, including three murders.

Officers spend days emptying his house of the alleged contraband, manhandling the 900 valuable guns as if they were Saturday Night Specials from Walmart — roughly stuffing them in plastic bags and hauling them away.

Never mind, apparently, that Sheperd has a vanity license plate with the word GUNS on it, an unlikely accoutrement for an illegal-arms dealer. Never mind that he often buys his historically significant wares at Christie's, Sotheby's and other respectable auction houses. Based on whatever evidence the police think they possess, Shepherd is carted off to Belmarsh, a high-security prison for some of the country's most dangerous criminals, where he spends ten months behind bars.

Last summer, Shepherd finally got his day in court, and the case against him came apart like a cheap suit. Reported BBC TV:

A Kent gun dealer who was accused of selling arms to criminals broke down in tears after a jury cleared him of all charges. It emerged during the trial that the 900 guns found at Mr. Shepherd's home were legally held and he had done nothing wrong.

Now, eight months later, a scrolling announcement on Shepherd's website says that the guns have still not been returned.

Oh, by the way, banning handguns, as the British government did in 1997, has not reduced firearms deaths in the U.K. in the slightest — on the contrary.

[thanks to Tom Karnofsky for the tip]

Cops Gone Wild, Special Maine Edition

Lest you think we're bereft of honest-to-god cowboys up here in Maine, fear not.

Maine Drug Enforcement Agency officer drinking and driving: check. Engaging in indecent exposure: check. Firing a gun recklessly and unnecessarily: check. Captured on camera: check. Maine Attorney General's Office saying they'll get around to watching the footage when they get around to it, no hurry: check. MDEA brass refusing to let the public know what disciplinary action has been brought against the officer: check.