Pushing Back Against Bible-Pushers

I've long wondered about the Gideons' Bibles you typically find in the nightstand drawers of nearly every hotel room in the country. Just from a marketing point of view — that is, apart from my own atheistic predisposition — it's amazing to me that hotels would provide, as a default, Bibles (or any choice of religious literature) to all their guests. Where's the sense in potentially irritating multitudes of customers who are Jews, or Buddhists, or Muslims, or atheists, or Pastafarians?

The Gideons boast that

Research from the hotel industry tells us that approximately 25% of travelers read the Bibles in their hotel rooms.

So three-quarters of all guests have no use for the book whatsoever.

I'd have no problems if the hotel kept a big box of [cough] Holy Books underneath the reception desk, free for the asking by religion-starved checker-inners. And that's as far as it should go.

This hotel in Tennessee (of all places) has the right idea:

Visitors to Hotel Preston won't find the Holy Bible in their nightstand. Instead, travelers will have to call room service to order it from a "spiritual menu," which will include other literary offerings like the Book of Mormon, the Quran and books on Scientology, said Dina Nishioka, public relations director for Hotel Preston. Oregon-based Provenance Hotels, which owns the Hotel Preston, is breaking away from a longstanding tradition of placing Bibles from Gideons International in its rooms. The goal is to offer variety to travelers who aren't Christians or to visitors looking to learn about a different faith, Nishioka said.

As a non-believer, I find an unsolicited Bible in a room I'm paying for...well, irksome. I mean, what the hell? As long as hotel management is freely spreading quasi-spiritual indoctrination, why don't they also put a crucifix and a nice print of the Ten Commandments on the wall (maybe alongside a portrait of L. Ron Hubbard, a photo of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, an aerial view of the Kaaba, and other religiously-tinted art)?

Seriously, it's all inappropriate on its face, isn't it?

I'll tell you what — I'm done with the Bible-pushing bullshit. The Gideons have had it their way for a hundred years. Enough. From now on, whenever I stay in a hotel, I'm going to take the Good Book from the drawer, take a stroll to the front desk, and smilingly hand it to the hotel manager with the words "Here you are, Ma'am [or Sir], I think someone inadvertently left this in my room."

Eventually, they ought to get the idea.

Comments

[Jerry]

I've always used it as a coaster, but I like your idea.

[Marc J. Randazza]

It would be more fun to call the manager and tell him to come to your room: that there is something offensive in there that must be removed immediately!

When they come up, refuse to touch it. For added fun, pretend that you are actually afraid of it, or gag at the sight of it.

Making them expend more resources to remove it is more effective -- but at the same time, a little theater is always fun!

[Michael Chaney]

Ooooh, a scary Bible! Seriously, dude, if you don't like it, don't read it.

[Phelps]

You know, I don't have any use for a shower cap, but I don't get my panties in a bunch if I see one in my room. I don't assume that the hotel thinks my clothes are worn out and need mending just because they leave a sewing kit in there.

Projection. Consider the possibility.

[Rogier]

Phelps:

A shower cap is a practical item, not a religious one. Unless the cap has Bible verses printed on it, I don't think there's any comparison.

Would you also accept it if the TV in your hotel room only broadcast perennial reruns of The 700 Club? After all, you could just not turn it on. What's the problem, right?

[Kevin Shaw]

Rogier,
Any experienced hotel manager will tell you that a favorite place for committing suicide is a hotel room. They don't want their families to clean up the mess or to have a bad memory inside their home, so they rent a hotel room to create the ultimate mess. Working for a company that cleans-up crime scenes, I wish more desperate people had thought to open that nightstand drawer and perhaps find some words to help them reflect on the bigger picture before deciding to blow their brain matter all over the wall, carpet and furniture. Desperate people are often private people and they're not going to call the front desk to ask for a Bible. Most won't even call the suicide prevention hotline. I often wonder how many more messes we might be cleaning up if Bibles were absent from ALL hotel rooms.

[Phelps]

Many people consider a bible a practical item also. I know you don't agree, but surely you recognize that they do think this, right? And the sewing kit analogy is apt, as well -- they aren't putting it there as a personal insult to you. It is there in case someone feels that they need it.

[Rogier]

A practical item....OK. You know what's also really practical? Some hardcore porn, so that travelers can satisfy themselves -- it helps them sleep. So I promise to leave the Gideons Bible in the drawer, as long as the hotel puts a few copies of Hustler in there as well. Would that be all right with you?

[I'm not actually proposing this, just providing an interesting analogy.]

[Hannah]

Ok, while I never bother to read the ones in the hotel rooms either, you have to remember that this is someone’s business, not yours. If the owner decides to place Bibles in every single room its their decision. You don’t have to read it. As for the analogy for tv’s with 700 club reruns, I’m fine with the idea of not turning on the tv. I don’t think that particular hotel would do well financially, but it would be that owners decision. Sort of like how I believe that restaurants should be allowed to have smoking if they wanted to.

[Rogier]

Hannah:

You're right. And I'll go a step further: If there was a state law or a municipal ordinance ordering hotels to remove Bibles from all their guest rooms, I'd contribute to the legal defense fund in a heartbeat. In that case, it'd be a First-Amendment issue. So, sure -- what kind of reading material to provide to guests is none of anybody's business but the hotels', and it's LEAST OF ALL the business of the government.

But...customers have a right to have their voices heard, especially if the hotel wants to stay in business. And that's all I'm saying: if the nightstand Bible doesn't annoy you, then by all means, do nothing. If it does, kindly let the front desk know.

This issue has nothing to do with the state coercion that's regularly featured on this blog; it has to do with private-sector policies that, to me at least, have outlived their usefulness. Remember, 75% of all guests have no use for the book, and a subset of them (atheists, Jews, etc.) are likely to be irked by its exclusive presence. You'd think the hotels would go out of their way to be inclusive, just to avoid annoying guests.

As a bona fide curmudgeon and an atheist, I intend to do my bit to make them see their error.

[markm]

Rogier, that reminds me of a trip to Germany in the 80's. This small family-run hotel actually did have magazines containing some port stacked on little tables out in the hallway. These weren't 100% porn, but more like if Larry Flynt edited People or National Enquirer. E.g., this was the period when a Hungarian stripper got elected to the Italian parliament; one magazine "covered" this story by running a nude pictorial of her co-workers under the title "Pornogirls of Rome" (my rough translation). Also there were many articles featuring some single-named German starlet (as best I could figure it) with nude pictures - and unlike any American porno mag, the male equivalents of starlets were displayed equally with the females...

[Lance]

I was at a job out in Oneonta, NY, staying at The Rainbow Inn (funky name, great place - the owners are wonderful people). I checked the drawer, and not only was there a Gideons bible, but a book on Buddhism as well.

Dont be so quick to judge.