Fuck Texas

Despite the rugged manliness that Texas tries to project with more than its share of rodeos, five-gallon hats, and wildcatters, the Lone Star State is actually composed of pantywaists with a deep attachment to fainting couches and linguistic prissiness.

How else to explain that the word fuck, even if used in private conversation, seems to have been banned in Jindal Bush-land?

Half a year ago, as you may recall, a woman was arrested in a Texas Wal-Mart for uttering the f-bomb. On Tuesday, it happened again, in Salsa's Mexican and Seafood Restaurant in Galveston. Two diners were apparently engaged in recriminations, with one telling the other, "I can't believe you're so fucking stupid."

"The manager was offended by the curse words," [Lt. D.J.] Alvarez said. "And the man was arrested when the manager came forward to complain about the breach of peace." The man was charged with a misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct, Alvarez said.

Ah: 'The manager was offended by the curse words.' That apparently constituted the whole of the evildoer's crime. The delicate soul running the restaurant would almost certainly have been within his right to ask the offending customer to leave. But where's the satisfaction in that if you can publicly play the mor(t)ally stung assbitch, and get a local cop to teach your customer some manners by slapping the cuffs on him?

Comments

[Jacob]

Jindal-land? It's bad enough we gave the country George W., don't saddle us with Jindal too! He's one state over to the East.

[Rogier]

Whoops, brainfreeze — got my guvs mixed up, prolly thanks to a fatally quick skim of this old post: http://www.bakelblog.com/nobodys_business/2008/08/a-fucktastic-ar.html. Is our bloggers learning? This one are!

Thanks Jacob!

[Court]

Holy fuck that's unbelievable. You sure this wasn't from the Onion ...?

[disinter]

Why wasn't the manager's name made public?

That is the person your should be "fuck"ing. Not all Texans are retarded.

[GreginOz]

The restuarant's email address is this:
diazsalsas@yahoo.com
I sent them a lovely message;-)

[Jerry]

Holy Fucking Shit Batman! More reasons to avoid Texas.

[banpal]

At least now we know which restaurant to avoid ...

[Phelps]

I guarantee you that this isn't the whole story. I can't imagine someone getting a disturbing the peace charge for saying fuck. I CAN see someone getting one for screaming at a woman in a restaurant, especially is he acts the same way when the cops arrive.

I'd bet dollars to donuts that it was the screaming, not the words used.

[Rogier]

Phelps:

It's possible, but I don't think so. It would seem unwise to make any "guarantees," as neither of us was there. So what we have to go on is the newspaper account.

Note that the reporter didn't talk to the guy arrested, so the paper got its information from the police and the manager. Neither of those sources appears to have mentioned that the patron was "screaming" and out of control. Don't you think they'd be trading war stories with the reporter if there had truly been an actionably loud and possible violent disturbance of the peace?

Even if the guy was loud and unpleasant and making others uncomfortable, why didn't the manager simply ask him to leave? When did it become our first course of action to have someone arrested who makes others uncomfortable?

And it certainly doesn't take a disturbance of the peace (as you and I would presumably define it) to get arrested for saying 'fuck' in Texas. That's why I linked to the previous case.

[Rogier]

Disinter wrote: "Not all Texans are retarded."

I don't think I claimed they were.

[Kyle Maxwell]

No, but you did paint with an awfully broad brush.

"the Lone Star State is actually composed of pantywaists with a deep attachment to fainting couches and linguistic prissiness."

Being from Texas, I have to say that no, the state is not composed of these folks (though we do have them).

[Rogier]

It's a rhetorical device, and you have to read what follows: "How else to explain..." That, to my mind, actually leaves the door open for other explanations. For the record, I do not believe that all Texans are linguistically prissy pantywaists. It's up to the many who are not to keep those who are in check.

[Phelps]

"It would seem unwise to make any "guarantees," as neither of us was there."

What, you actually think that there is some chance that the newspaper DID get the whole story?

[Angela]

Anybody who thinks there is "More to the story" hasn't been to east Texas. You can be arrested for ANYTHING! And, you will be charged with whatever they decide to make up. Then a judge will agree that you did it and you will be levied a hefty fine. After being abused in their jails.

If you haven't been to Texas, your incredulousness is totally forgiveable.

When I tell people in other parts of the country about what goes on down there, they are stunned. Texans don't consider themselves to be Americans and they hate our Yankee ways - ie. The U.S. Constitution.

Ron Paul is a glaring exception to the rule. But, most people in E. Texas lack common sense because they've grown up around this kind of insanity.

[Phelps]

I live in Texas, honey, and I have been all over East Texas. And I am certain that there is more to the story, because reporters never get it right.

[Twelvebit]

I live in Texas too, and I've also been all over East Texas. I've had people of the right-wing nutter persuasion threaten me when they overhear a private conversation --without the use of profanity-- because they simply don't like what they hear.

I also am fairly liberal in public with the work "fuck" and all its variants --though I do try to avoid it in the presence of children. I have yet to be challenged by a cop for it, but I've no doubt that on several occasions there have been people who'd have loved to sic one on me had one been available.

There are a lot of confrontational religious nuts here who not infrequently attempt to impose themselves on those they believe don't measure up to their own "high moral standards" --though not nearly as many as in Oklahoma. I have never met an adult who is sensitive to words like "fuck" (when children are not present) who isn't a sanctimonious religious nutter.

[Jason]

Umm, yes. All Texans ARE retarded...

[Southernboygone]

Fuck Texas! They should secede from the union, but they won't because what's really bigger about Texans is there mouths. Douchbags! Give the fucking place back to Mexico!

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1348424922]

Fuck the fucking fuckers who fucking run motherfucking Texas.

[Tool Whisperer]

Fuck Texas. Moved there for about a month and couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Only thing worse than Texas is Texans. The best thing about Texas is that most of the Texans live there and aren't infecting the rest of the nation.

"All hat and no cattle" pretty much sums up the whole state of Texas.

You said it with the first paragraph man; "Despite the rugged manliness that Texas tries to project ... the Lone Star State is actually composed of pantywaists"

Texas is so pussy that they've actually outlawed the carrying of Bowie knives.

They don't have the biggest canyons, mountains, meteor strikes, plains, fish, game, forests, or trees. They're not the biggest state, hell they don't even have 1 of the 3 biggest oil deposits in the country.

All that BIG shit is just BIG talk and that's what Texans are known for.

Texas, nothing but the descendants of settlers who were too weak to make it to Arizona & California.

[MsuCarencro]

All 20 million texans are retarded. Not one non retarded person. Met every single one of them and they're ALL retarded.