Sanford's "Family Values": Schtupfing Foreign Lover

South Carolina governor Mark Sanford disappeared for six days, unexpectedly abandoning the ship of state he is paid to steer. Now he's back with a bombshell: Unbeknownst to his family (wife Jenny and four sons) and his aides, he's been in Argentina, where he has cheated on his wife with a "dear, dear friend." (Whether the friend is a gay prostitute and a meth fiend remains to be seen, I suppose.)

Father's Day must have been a hoot at the Sanford mansion this past Sunday.

I honestly wouldn't care whom Mr. Sanford beds, except for the small fact that he is another one of those ramrod-straight 'family values' Republicans who like to stick their repressed cocks where they don't belong while crafting legislation to "protect" marriage from tidal waves of adultery and gayness. See here, and here.

And while the governor is keen on keeping American jobs from being taken by foreigners, he seems to make a special exception for blowjobs. Come now — was there really no female (or male, for that matter) in the greater Columbia area who might have provided relief for Mr. Sanford's throbbing stimulus package, and at a fraction of the cost of a plane ticket to Buenos Aires? America First, governor!

By the way, the news of Sanford's South-American love fest comes 24 hours after fellow Republican John Ensign apologized to his Congressional colleagues for his own extramarital affair and was welcomed back into the GOP fold with hugs and applause.

Do you remember that both Ensign and Sanford voted to impeach president Clinton for his tryst with Monica Lewinksy? Funny as hell, that. Just last year, Sanford recalled his own high-minded efforts at the time:

I voted to impeach, because I think that, you know, moral legitimacy is one of the precursors to a legitimate [political] legitimacy.

The holier-than-thou-ness is a pattern with him:

Sanford was one of a handful of Congressmen who said they could not support Rep. Bob Livingston for Speaker after his admission of an extramarital affair in late 1998.

Ensign and Sanford have both been mentioned as future presidential candidates. Presumably, they'll take take their head-of-state cues from Don Juan, or possibly Silvio Berlusconi.

Comments

[hermesten]

"Now he's back with a bombshell..."

I don't know, the article didn't say he brought her with him; are you sure he didn't leave her back in Argentina?

I assume you understand that it you're part of the tribe, adultery and homosexuality actually make you a BETTER Christian. When you're part of the tribe these are "imperfections" that highlight your humanity. After all, Christians aren't "perfect," just "forgiven."

Adultery and homosexuality are only a sign of your evil nature if you're not part of the tribe. So, if you're, say, Palin, and your unmarried child gets pregnant, even though you preach abstinence, it's because you're "imperfect" in your love of Christ, and He forgives you. And if this daughter doesn't have an abortion, you're heroic.

But if you stand outside the tribe, your child's unmarried pregnancy is actual evidence of your corrupt "liberal" values and your soulless existence.

[Phelps]

I assume you understand that it you're part of the tribe, adultery and homosexuality actually make you a BETTER Christian.

As opposed to the idea that adultery and homosexuality are to tolerated or even praised... unless you are are conservative and/or Christian?

[Phelps]

Meh, the formatting got stripped out. It is very difficult to have a conversation here with the HTML nanny stripping EVERYTHING out.

[hermesten]

"As opposed to the idea that adultery and homosexuality are to tolerated or even praised... unless you are are conservative and/or Christian?"

This is Christian mythology so far as I can tell, going back to the days of David Hume --as regards adultery. When I used to live in Oklahoma, all the adulterers I knew were devout self-professed Christians. I even knew a Christian who talked about a Christian Swinger's Group.

Furthermore, my atheist son went to a very conservative college and the sluttiest little coeds he met were vocal Christians with far more liberal attitudes about sex than any of the, actually somewhat chaste, atheist girls he knew.

I'm an atheist, and somehow, without Jesus in my life, I've managed never to cheat on my wife, so I don't even have to be forgiven. Not too hard really --just kept my cock in my pants around other women. Wasn't a problem for my non-Christian father either, or any of the other few atheists I've known. In fact, I haven't had the pleasure of knowing very many atheists and agnostics, but none of those I've ever known have cheated on their wives or countenanced adultery, and all are still with their original spouses.

On the other hand, I've known several coworkers in the family values crowd who have destroyed their own marriages and broken up others, all the while spouting their nonsense Jesus talk and expressing their self-professed moral superiority. I actually had a guy come into my office and inject his God talk into a private conversation. His good Christian wife was on her third marriage, and as I found out later, soon to be on her way to jail for some kind of fraud --he'd cheated with her and destroyed his first marriage.

Homosexuality is a different issue. I'm happy to say that I do indeed both tolerate and praise homosexuality. In fact, I think the case can be rather easily made that more homosexuals would be a boon for the human condition. It should please the religionists too, if they were logical people instead of dogmatists, since more homosexuality would mean fewer abortions.

However, consensual sexuality, of whatever variety, is not in and of itself a moral issue. Homosexuality is even less generally a moral issue, since homosexual sex doesn't lead to pregnancy. And that is, in fact, precisely why Christians don't like homosexuality: it's fun that can be had without life changing consequences.

The Christian war against consensual sex all boils down to the fact that because humans are sexual beings, the control of sexuality is the single most powerful tool for dictating, controlling, and ordering all human relationships, as well illustrated by the Sanford affair.

But then, in my experience, Christian morality is usually phony morality. This isn't to say that there aren't good moral people who consider themselves to be good Christians --just that the bulk of humanity calling themselves Christian have found little more than a good cloak for their immorality.