The security of our planes and airports is truly in the hands of some of the dumbest most unimaginative people on the face of the planet. The latest genius bit of security theater to emanate from the TSA is to forbid passengers from getting up during the last 60 to 90 minutes of a flight. The idea is to prevent a terrorist like Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab from going to the bathroom and doing something nefarious anywhere near the plane's descent. I'm sure it will never occur to Islamist scum to try to detonate their bombs, say, 93 or 120 or 206 minutes before scheduled arrival.
So, how's this for protecting us all?
Amanda Cain, 41, flew on China Eastern from Beijing to Los Angeles with her 5-year-old daughter, Emily. ... "The last hour and a half, they said we can't move at all," Ms. Cain said. "That was very hard for her. The flight attendant came by and took the pillow from her head. I didn't like that. Why did they have to wake her up? It would be better for her to sleep." Then Emily threw up, never any parent’s dream, but all the more unpleasant when the bathroom cannot be visited.
Mustn't allow children to use pillows. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: Little kids might use pillows to hide chemical bombs. But only in the last 90 minutes of a flight, of course.
Meanwhile, because even the hair-trigger perception of ethnic profiling is surely worse than allowing 300 innocent passengers and their plane to get blown up, we're going to frisk five-year-olds from China and wheelchair-bound octogenarians from New Hampshire to the possible exclusion of 22-year-old Mohammed, the engineering student from Yemen who paid cash for his one-way ticket; or Hakim, the 30-something Saudi preacher, who happens to be traveling without luggage.
Makes sense, no?